Non ho molta voglia di scrivere… sono impegnata a fare altro. A pensare, più che altro.

Sono tornati quelli che io chiamo i “sogni con sensi di colpa annessi”. Come funzionano? Semplicissimo, sogno di fare qualcosa di “sbagliato” - può trattarsi di qualsiasi cosa - e mi sveglio con i sensi di colpa, stato che mi resta solitamente per tutta la mattinata. Avere i sensi di colpa per una cosa che non hai fatto è il colmo, ma la considero una buona cosa. L’ultima volta che ho attraversato questa “fase” è stato prima del mio periodo SI. Sono fiduciosa, aspetto. Nel frattempo mi sento esattamente come in questa canzone, però… 

Misplaced - Sonata Arctica 

Sometimes I feel so out of time and place, trapped in the maze
As if I was lost in someone else’s life…
The values I should keep in high regard don’t mean a thing to me

Do you ever feel a need to go back in time? A dream of mine…
To travel far away and one day steal back my life
In the end all I can do is to learn I live in a dreamland

This time was not made for me
I have nowhere to land,no place to rest,
Like a bird, without a nest I’m gliding
Under the clouds for evermore

How much suffocated anxiety can be held within?
I was found guilty to the crime against myself
No need to hear the words again
I live and I’d die for my dreamland

This time was not made for me
I have nowhere to land,no place to rest,
Like a bird, without a nest I’m gliding
Under the clouds for evermore

I’ll never have a chance, I cant understand
I’m a misplaced man
How could this backward land
Learn to understand my dance
What it’s like, when every single smile hurts…

I have never felt like home here
Always missing something
People aren’t connecting
Am i a misplaced soul?

I live in a perfect Hell, I try finding my wishing well
When I drop my last tear, I have accepted this life

A true saint, that I am not, you have never seen me
‘Cause I have always been there, standing by your side

I’ll never have a chance, I cant understand
I’m a misplaced man
How could this backward land
Learn to understand my dance
What it’s like, when

Every single moment pains me…
Never felt like home here
I am missing something
My soul’s in a wrong shell